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From Issue #28, Spring 1997 -- Resume Make-Overs -- READERS, please note that web-page constraints make it difficult to show how attractively a resume can be formatted using a standard word processing program. You'll have to apply your imagination here! --Yana

Sue's Original Resume (below) -- Recommendations --Sue's "Made-Over" Resume

 

SUE'S ORIGINAL RESUME:

 

Sue Miller

3100 Millpond Drive

Holland, MI 49424

616-786-9082

azsue@juno.com

 

Current Focus: Challenging position in Customer Service, Banking or Sales Administration, with an aggressive people-oriented organization utilizing leadership, business and technical skills.

 

Background

 

9 -years progressive experience, with western Michigan custom die-cut board printer; proficient in all aspects of development from quote formulation to post-sale communications; strong knowledge of print production; proven interpersonal and analytical abilities; track record of providing excellent interdepartmental support and superior customer service. 10 years experience as office manager of a six person full-service advertising agency; handled all accounting matters through

trial balances; typed client proposals; print media buyer, 5 years progressive experience in commercial banking, during tenure advanced from part-time, teller to full.-time teller to head teller to branch supervisor; proficient in all aspects of teller and main vault duties; installment loan applications, credit checks and approval; supervision and leadership of teller staff.

 

Summary of Qualifications

 

· Excellent communicator; interact effectively and professionally with individuals in all levels of business.

· Respond effectively and creatively to change; highly adaptable to fluctuating requirements and situations.

· Accomplished facilitator; able to coordinate multiple and complex projects; task oriented end precise, with high professional standards; capable of making a decision and following through to an effective solution,

· Outstanding organization and planning skills; adept at problem mediation and resolution while successfully upholding company objective; strong desire for professional advancement and opportunity.

 

Strengths

 

Demonstrated effectiveness working independently or as a team player;

excellent spreadsheet and word processing skills in Excel and MS Word; effective communicator.

 

Values Statement

 

Throughout my tenure at STACCATO-Van Huis I have served as liaison between our Sales, Production, Purchasing, and Accounting departments to ensure top-notch customer service. Our print sales customer base and dollar volume has increased significantly since I joined SVH and I feel that my performance, loyalty, and "commitment to our customers" has positively contributed to our success. I strive for excellence and the highest standards of quality for continued customer satisfaction.

 

Professional History

 

1988-Present, STACCATO-Van Huis, Holland, MI

Account Manager/Customer Service, Representative

 

1978-1988, MacAllister & Associates, Inc., Muskegon, MI

Office Manager/Bookkeeper

 

1973-1977, Central Security National Bank, Lorain, OH

Branch Supervisor/Head Teller

 

Education & Training

1995 Grand Valley State University, Allendale, MI

Course work: Business Management & Accounting , GPA. 4.0

 

1968, Graduate, Muskegon Community College, Muskegon, MI

Associate of Arts degree

1964, Graduate, North Muskegon High School, North Muskegon, MI

Course work: College Prep GPA: 3.6

 

Community Involvement

Muskegon, MI: Member of Muskegon County Tourism Advisory Board; Chairperson of Advertising & Promotions Committee for the City of Muskegon's Sesquicentennial Celebration.

References Furnished

---

YANA'S CRITIQUE & RECOMMENDATIONS

 

Dear Sue,

I've looked over your resume and I think the CONTENT is excellent; you've done a good job of describing yourself and your accomplishments in terms that should appeal to a potential employer. There are several things I'd suggest for strengthening the document so it works better for you (without changing the wording except to DROP some things).

Here are my recommendations:

 

A. THE OBJECTIVE ("Current Focus"):

1. I would not try to make ONE resume cover all three of your stated job objectives. While customer service and sales have much in common, banking is very different and requires a separate resume. Including details about banking skills on the sales/customer service resume weakens the resume for sales. And the resume as it now stands does not support the objective of banking well enough to land a job interview.

 

2. In the "current focus"/objective area,

a) don't say "challenging" -- everybody says it and thus it's become trite;

b) don't describe your ideal future employer; after all, when somebody reads it, they will already BE or NOT BE consistent with that description (which is only for your personal goal-setting notes that you don't send to anybody).

c) again, everybody ELSE says "using my whiz-bang skills" so omit that and simply highlight and document those skills below.

 

B. The BACKGROUND:

This is an interesting variation for summarizing the nature and duration of your experience. I think the FORMAT of it--one long paragraph--doesn't do it justice, and makes it hard to read. And it REQUIRES the reader to read every word. You want to make it possible for them to SCAN for key words so they will become MOTIVATED to read every word. So ...

 

1. Break up the paragraph into bulleted statements as you've done under the Summary.

2. Rearrange the words to emphasize JOB TITLE and LENGTH OF SERVICE.

3. Incorporate the data under "Professional History." I think the accomplishment statements in your "Background" section are more credible when they're linked directly with the relevant job title and workplace. It would look something like this:

BACKGROUND

1988-present; 9 years in sales/customer service, with STACCATO-VAN HUIS, Holland MI, a western Michigan custom die-cut board printer.

As ACCOUNT MANAGER/CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE:

--Proficient in all aspects of development from quote formulation to post-sale communications;

--Strong knowledge of print production

--Proven interpersonal and analytical abilities

--Track record of providing excellent interdepartmental support and superior customer service.

 

1978-88: 10 years in office management, MacALLISTER & ASSOCIATES, Muskegon MI, a six-person full-service advertising agency.

As OFFICE MANAGER/BOOKKEEPER

--Handled all accounting matters through trial balance;

--Prepared client proposals; served as print media buyer.

 

1973-77: 5 years in commercial banking, CENTRAL SECURITY NATIONAL BANK, Lorain OH.

As BRANCH SUPERVISOR/HEAD TELLER:

--Advanced from part-time teller to full-time teller to head teller to branch supervisor;

--Proficient in all aspects of teller and main vault duties.

--Knowledge of installment loan applications, credit checks and approval

--Provided effective supervision and leadership of teller staff.

 

If you include the DATES and the WORK PLACES, as I've shown above, you will have also covered the material NOW presented in your "Professional History" section.

 

"SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS"

Everything in the paragraph you're calling "Summary of Qualifications" appears to be "Personal Profile & Strengths," so why don't you CALL it that? ("Qualifications" to me would imply your years of experience and your credentials, as well as these strengths.)

Some small changes I'd suggest:

a) Prioritize these items; the list might be shorter, or arranged differently, for a Sales/Customer Service resume than for a Banking resume.

b) Change "Strong desire for professional advancement and opportunity ...." to ...

"Highly motivated toward professional development and advancement."

c) Omit "Excellent spreadsheet and word processing skills ..." UNLESS you are sure they will be part of your new job (and you WANT them to be part of your new job.)

 

The "VALUES STATEMENT" is nice, and would look great at the TOP of the resume. Notice, however, that it is appropriate for the Customer Service/Sales resume, but probably should be rewritten for the Banking resume

 

PROFESSIONAL HISTORY

Could be used just as it is (i.e., repeating the data proposed to be used above) OR deleted.

 

EDUCATION / TRAINING

Looks fine, except that I'd omit the reference to High School, UNLESS you have some specific reason to include it (like, the interviewer went to the same school!).

I left the 1968 date on there for your AA degree, BUT you don't HAVE to include it, if you don't want to reveal your age before an interview

 

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT -- Looks fine.

 

REFERENCES FURNISHED -- you could keep it, or drop it. It's a toss-up.

---

Sue Miller